
66 Unmissable Shows at VAULT Festival 2023

As the cold, dark reality of winter renders December festivities but a distant memory, there’s only one surefire escape – it’s time to go underground again at VAULT Festival!
Back for the first time since 2020, we’re so excited to share our picks from the huge programme – we aim to showcase the magical wonder of the cave-dwelling multi-arts extravaganza that is VAULT Festival.
Sorry to all those we couldn’t squeeze in – please do tag us on socials @todolistldn and we’ll try to share – or invite us to review!
VAULT Festival 2023 | 24 January – 19 March

Another Lover’s Discourse | 7-11 February | From £13
Rediscover love with this inventive new multimedia performance, from one of Palestine’s most exciting contemporary artists.

Project Atom Boi | 24-29 January | From £13
A bizarre journey into China, nuclear weapons and utopia.

Billy Kidd Show | 2-5 March | From £13
Scrap your clichéd expectations of a magic show and embrace wonder again with Billy Kidd.

Boorish Trumpson | 11-12 February | From £13
Claire Parry conducts an orchestra made of, well, us – examining how popularism can make heroes of scoundrels like Boris.

Borders | 7-12 February | From £13
A Middle-eastern cross border love story, which asks big questions around who and how we can love.

Buff | 31 January – 19 February | From £13
A deeper dive into the gay dating pool to discover what it’s like for a plus-sized, 32 year old primary school teacher living in a Grindr world.

CACEROLEO | 24-29 January | From £17
Nastazja Domaradzka examines “safe spaces” in the arts for survivors of domestic violence.

Charlie George: Grace (WIP) | 7 March | From £8
Charlie explores her story as a queer, mixed-race, neurodiverse, working class, ex-Jehovah’s Witness.

Cybil Service | 27 January – 10 February | From £6
A diva-licious dragged-up look at bureaucracy in the civil service.

Dark Matter | 21-25 February | From £13
An afro-futurist, spiritual quest to commune with those passed away.

Five Years With The White Man | 28 February – 5 March | From £13.50
Uncover the story of a forgotten Black Briton – ABC Merriman-Labor – and his journey to the imperialist capital, London.

Garbo! (WIP) | 25 & 26 February | From £8
‘A Welsh Hollywood Babylon’ – character comedy featuring the most famous woman in the world.

Gay Witch Sex Cult | 3 February | From £8
The hilarious, sardonic tale of a gender reveal party that takes a turn for the demonic.

General Secretary | 7-9 February | From £13
If you were leader of the world, what would you change? Comedy duo Thick ‘n’ Fast ask just this.

Goodbye ‘89 | 18 & 19 March | From £13
Celebrate the pioneering activists of the 80s with a talented all-female group from East 15.

Gush | 7-12 March | From £13
A telling comedy about masculinity through the eyes of Neil a plumber – who gets called in to fix a leak at a performing arts festival.

High Steaks | 24-27 Jan | From £13
Eloina lives labiaplasty in this odd and unmissable highlight of VAULT 2023.

Hear Me Now | 14-17 February | From £13
Mya Onwugbonu’s play puts blackness centre stage and explores the stories that matter.

HEXENHAMMER | 10 & 11 February | From £13
Two misogynist monks, Heinrich Kramer and Jacob Sprenger, might have been the first incels. This show gets to grips with their witch-hunting bible and delves into why so many women are killed even today.

Honour-Bound | 7-10 March | From £13
Interracial relationships are explored through the eyes of a South-asian woman whose family’s anti-blackness holds her relationship ransom.

I Fucked You In My Spaceship | 7-10 February | From £13
Two couples get extraterrestrial when they invite a stranger into their lives.

In PurSUEt | 25 February – 5 March | From £13
Obsessed with Sue Perkins? Not as much as the star of this queer cult sensation, who battles alcoholism through the power of Sue.

It’s a Motherf**king Pleasure | 21-26 February | From £13
A rib-tickling parody of the exploitation of identity politics, including disability for profit.

La Voisin | 28 February – 5 March | From £13
Fortune-teller Catherine Montvoisin is a female villain in a pickle…

Laurie Black: Dystopiano | Dates | £xx
Synth-star Laurie Black gives musical comedy a shot in the arm.

Liv Ello: Swarm | 7-10 February | From £13
A batshit and gloriously silly show inspired by one of David Cameron’s epic faux-pas: describing immigrant influx as a swarm.

Miss Ellaneous | 17 March | From £13
‘Miss Ellaneous is a space for those struggling to define ‘what it is that they do’. A perfect blend of out-of-this-world cabaret, comedy and miscellany.

NHSmackdown | 26 February | From £13
Live art provocateur wrestles (literally) with the plight of front line NHS workers.

Nitwit at Hanging Rock (WIP) | 11 & 12 March | From £8
A tongue-in-cheek re-imagining of Australian gothic classic Picnic At Hanging Rock.

Perverts | 31 January – 5 February | From £13
Trapped in a sex club, Katie unravels her internalised ‘lesbophobia’ in this queer fantasy.

Priya Hall: Sertraline Dreams (WIP) | 25 February | From £7.50
Brutally honest breakdown comedy. Sertraline all round.

PUBLIC The Musical | 17 & 18 March | From £13
A show in which the characters are trapped in a gender-neutral toilet. PUBLIC The Musical is pure rock and (toilet) roll.

Queer Planet | 24 February – 4 March | From £13
The nature doc gets queered by drag-king Bi-curious George. Expect gay animals galore.

Serena Flynn: Lizard King | 10 & 11 February | From £13
Cold-blooded character comedy from acclaimed physical performer Serena Flynn.

Siapa Yang Bawa Melayu Aku Pergi? (Who Took My Malay Away?) | 28 January – 5 February | From £13
An eye-opening lecture performance tackling what it’s like to be Malay in Singapore.

Su Mi: Banana Beard (WIP) | 15 February – 5 March | From £6.50
British Malaysian Alternative Comedienne Su Mi is one to watch.

SURFACING | 14-19 February | From £13
Motion sensor tech eases us down the rabbit hole, with NHS therapist Luc and their mysterious new client Owen.

Tatty Macleod: Fugue | 26 January – 14 March | From £13
Famed for her French vs English sketches on TikTok, Tatty brings the cross-channel culture clash underground.

Ted Hill: Tries and Fails to Solve Climate Change | 31 January & 1 February | From £7.50
Ted has terrible ideas to solve climate change, with graphs and laughs.

The Ballerina | 31 January – 5 February | From £17
An interrogation of democracy through African eyes.

The Bargain Basement Gameshow-Cabaret | 17 & 18 March | From £13
Come and celebrate the garish glitz of British gameshows.

The Messiah Complex | 14-19 March | From £13
A psychological thriller from daring theatre company Bag of Beard.

The Phase | 7-12 March | From £13
Talented musical theatre duo Zoe Morris and Meg McGrady fight back against queer phobia.

The Quota Cabaret | 10 March | £17
Under-represented performers are given the spotlight in this countercultural cabaret. The night includes a a strict DBAA (“Don’t Be An Arsehole”) Policy.

The Wedding Speech | 21-24 February | From £13
The toxic mother-daughter relationship bubbles to the surface in this relatable comedy.

This Is The Land | 11-19 February | From £13
Eye-popping physicality and ideas explode in this uncategorisable treat.

Trash Salad | 31 January & 1 February | From £13
Sex. Love. Lettuce. A gaudy burlesque adventure to find the meaning of intimacy.

Vidura Bandara Rajapaksa: French Kiss Tunnel (WIP) | 9 February | From £8
Gifted writer Vidura BR uses dead-pan humour to explore love.

We Need to Talk, A Jazz Cabaret | 27 January | From £13
Jazz classics aplenty in this modern day soul soother.

YOU ARE GOING TO DIE | 14-19 March | From £17
Defying tick boxes and electrifying audiences, Adam Scott-Rowley (creator of the award-winning THIS IS NOT CULTURALLY SIGNIFICANT) is back with new mind melt, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE.
Did we miss a must see at VAULT Festival 2023? Comment below and we’ll see what we can do…

Occasionally the To Do List team are forced to work together.
Rupert likes: free, cheap & offbeat London, especially: cabaret, art, theatre, pop-ups, eating out, quirky films, museums, day trips, social enterprise & much more.
Stuart likes: nice pubs, film marathons, not doing real marathons, bad comedy, plays/musicals with shorter second halves, and the Oxford comma.
What a fantastic list. We’re looking forward to seeing many of these wonderful shows and artists. Can’t wait!
We are taking our absurd comedy QUENCH to the VAULT Festival.
Set in a drinks vending machine of dreams, hopes and shakes. We follow the adventures of Sparkling, Appletania and the gang of vocal drinks as they come to terms with the impending closure of the Leisure centre…and their home.
We will be there at 6.30pm each night between 7th-9th February at the Network Theatre.
A must see for any comedy fans!
Please get in touch for a press release or images.
Thanks, Team Quench!
The Body & Blood. The story of a country girl who transmogrifies into The Vigilante Cannibal Nun during the Famine. Performed by Carol Murphy in verse. Thanks!
Hello! You should please add Lachlan Werner: Voices Of Evil to this list!!! Bringing my queer horror ventriloquist show Voices Of Evil for a one-off Valentine’s Special
Fresh from Soho Theatre & won Brighton Fringe Best Show 2022 🩸🫀 A ‘winningly silly’ (Chortle) tour-de-force of physical & vocal comedy 14th Feb 9.10
Ghost Written – a narrative improvised comedy by The Descendants – March 15/16 at Network Theatre.
@descendantsimpro
Amazing recommendations! We love to think our debut show “Grey Area” is unmissable (our grandmas told us so at least): a non-linear, modern queer odyssey, exploring the boundary between self-care and egotism in LGBT+ relationships affected by mental health issues. We will be at Network Theatre (VAULT Festival) 14-19 Feb and have a transfer at the King’s Head Theatre 27 Feb – 5 Mar. More info here in case our grandmas are right? https://vaultfestival.com/performances/grey-area/
Hello! Would love to see ShyBairn Theatre (recommended by Lyn Gardner and The Guardian) with their climate show ‘BURNOUT’ 18-19 March. Thanks!
Hey, we’d love to get POISON, HATE & VITRIOL on this list! It’s a fast-paced, zeitgeisty play about the Piers Morgans and Katie Hopkins of the world; produced by the award-winning company behind BLANKET BAN and THE NOBODIES!
https://vaultfestival.com/events/poison-hate-vitriol/