
A-Z of Vault Festival 2018 – Our Top 33 Picks
London’s underground mecca is creaking open its doors for another festival of weird and wonderful performances!
We can’t wait to see the fresh new talent on offer and have compiled this (by no means complete) listicle for your pleasure…
With ticket prices from just £5, a night underground won’t cost the earth either. So take a chance on these here gems. We’ve scoured the entire programme, and seen lots of stuff already – so place your trust in us and you don’t have to waste a moment.
And what’s the worst that can happen? Most shows are an hour, so even if you hate it you’ve supported some artists, had a drink and been to an underground vault. Can’t complain!
Vault Festival | 24 January – 18 March | The Vaults under Waterloo Station (Entrance on Leake Street)
60 Minutes After Feeling Sad | 2 Feb | 22:00 | £9.50
Weirdo comedy legend Joz Norris spins a different yarn in this bitter-sweet comedy tale of sadness, loneliness & over-communication.
Blackout | 31 Jan-4 Feb | 21:00 | £9.50
Blackout gets to the dark side of a one night stand.
Boys | 7-11 Feb | 19:30 | £14.50
A ‘joyful and tender dance’ tribute to the many sides of being a man.
Brilliant Jerks | 14-18 March | 19:30 | £14.50
A timely imagining of what goes on for the people behind tech giants like Uber.
Consumables | 14-18 Feb | 19:15 | £14.50
Gay hook-up culture examined through the encounter of daddy and porn star.
Dietrich Natural Duty | 24-28 Jan | 19:45 | £11.50
‘Created for VAULT Festival 2018, Dietrich: Natural Duty sees actor and theatre maker Peter Groom explore the life of screen icon Marlene Dietrich. Through a heady mixture of theatre, live cabaret and drag, this one-(wo)man show uses music, stories and songs to reveal an extraordinary woman’s commitment to duty.’
Douze | 9-11 Feb | 18:10 | £14.50
A Eurovision themed romp. Enough said.
Droll | 7-10 Feb | 21:15 | £11.50
Fans of Upstart Crow will love this buffoonish comedy a la 1642. Read Our Review from Edinburgh 2017
Enthusiasms #666: I AM THE DEVIL + SOCIETY | 4 Feb | 15:00 | £11.50
A sinful film night of ‘honey-traps, hallucinogens, CIA conspiracy-theories, slithering body-horror and Republican cannibalistic-orgies are the order of the day in the dark pulsating heart of Trump’s America. God help us all.’
Follow The Faun | 7-11 March | 21:15 | £21.50
An interactive dance odyssey that will lift your spirits and soul. Read our Review from Edinburgh 2015
Fuck Marry Kill | 7 Mar | 20:45 | £11.50
‘Vera Chok (The Good Immigrant) and Amy Mason (The Islanders) present a funny, furious game show about size, skin, and not fitting in.’
Good Girl | 28 Feb-4 Mar | 21:30 | £11.50
‘Growing up in the 90s, GG and her mates obsess over music, vaginas and witchcraft.’
Gráinne Maguire: I Call My Vagina The Psychopath Test | 18 Mar | 18:45 | £11.50
This comedy show title says it all. We’re there!
Holly Burn: The Best of Burn | 28 Feb-2 Mar | 22:00 | £9.50
Comedian supremo Holly Burn is here to drag 70s variety into the Snapchat era!
I Have A Bad Feeling About This | 21-25 Feb | 21:15 | £14.50
A comedy musical about anxiety disorders, from House of Blakewell.
Jamali Maddix: Work In Progress | 21 Feb | 20:45 | £9.50
Maddix’s boundary-pushing comedy is a must-see before he’s in front of much bigger crowds at the O2.
Joe Sutherland:Model/Actress | 7-9 March | 22:00 | £9.50
Joe Sutherland made us crack up at Edinburgh in 2017 – you’ll love his acerbic storytelling and visual gags at VAULT. Read our Review from Edinburgh 2017
Lamplighters | 31 Jan-4 Feb | 19:30 | £11.50
A one-man immersive fable of deception, inspired by the works of John La Carré.
Mahdi The Magician | 31 Jan-4 Feb | 18:10 | £18.50
A mesmerising card magician defying logic… with no hands.
Mission Abort | 7-8 Feb | 18:15 | £11.50
Taboo-tackling theatre bringing to light one woman’s experience of abortion.
Orwell That Ends Well | 11 Feb | 16:30 | £9.50
Lolly explores our digital footprint using her experience on Channel 4’s Hunted as a jumping off point.
People Who Need People | 7-11 Mar | 19:30 | £9.50
Out of Spite theatre return after the subversive triumph of THIS IS NOT CULTURALLY SIGNIFICANT. Expect out of this word weirdness.
Piñata | 18 Feb | 21:15 | £11.50
A kaleidoscope of colourful offbeat comedy from the New Cross masters.
Spank! | 15 Feb | 21:15 | £15.50
Our Edinburgh Fringe fave for discovering new acts and dancing like a 90s uni student goes subterranean for a post-Valentine’s binge. Remember to shout ‘WE LOVE IT!!!’ when they say spank! Read our Review from Edinburgh 2015
Sparks | 21-25 Feb | 19:45 | £11.50
Writer-performer Jessica Butcher, in collaboration with musician Anoushka Lucas and director Jessica Edwards, take you on an intimate voyage through a couple’s first meets, dates, fucks, fights and break ups.
Testosterone | 28 Feb | 20:25 | £18.50
A heady pumping mix of physical theatre and honest truth telling around becoming a man. Read our Review from Edinburgh 2017
The Boring Room | 7-11 Feb | 18:00 | £9.50
Not as boring as it sounds (we hope!), this mystery trio of tales gives desperate criminals and pompous authors their 15 minutes.
The De Nova Super | 14-18 Feb | 21:30 | £14.50
A space salvage recovery operation is the setting for “an intimate show about gigantic themes”
The Forest of Phantasmagorias | 15-16 Feb | 22:30 | £14.50
‘Delve into a holographic universe of mystifying creatures, foreboding tales, and phantasmagorias hidden deep within the augmented woods of Aves, in Tinderdust’s The Forest of Phantasmagorias.’
Treading Water | 28 Feb-4 Mar | 18:10 | £14.50
Bored lifeguards do something.
Katie Pritchard: Tsunamiramirami | 3 Feb | The Bookshop | £5
A whirlwind magical mystery musical comedy tour around the inner workings of Katie Pritchard’s brain.
Work Makes You Free | 21-25 Feb | 19:45 | £14.50
A satirical look at that thing that makes us all so happy: work.
X-NN Systems: Meet Market | 21-25 Feb | 21:00 | £18.50
A multi-sensory speed-dating-like event… without the dating. Be prepared for some (a lot of) audience participation!
Did we miss the perfect VAULT festival show? Let us know in the comments below…

I am Joint Editor at To Do List. I like free, cheap & offbeat London, especially: cabaret, art, theatre, pop-ups, eating out, quirky films, museums, day trips, social enterprise & much more.