Unmissable Things To Do in London in March 2023

What even are the Ides of March? Eh? Never mind – we’re here to pick out the Unmissable Things To Do in London (and beyond) this March! Tick off all these, and then if you’re desperate for something to do, read up on your Roman history!

I Hate It Here | The Pleasance | Until 11 March | £12

An interactive spin on the world of the zero hours economy.

Unladylike | D Contemporary | Until 25 March

Challenging the stereotypes of femininity, with artists Sadie Lee, Celia Mora, Elizabeth Dimitroff and Abigail Norris.

FUTURES | The Roundhouse | From 1 March

Conversation, performance, visual art, installations, film and audio collide in this festival, which includes KALAK – a weekend of South Asian Futurisms and AfroFUTURES .

Nouveau Nights | The Broadway, Catford | 4 March | From £5

A night of music at The Broadway in Catford, showcasing new artists and celebrating five years of the pioneering theatre collective Nouveau Riche.

Shit Show | The Glory | 4 March | £15

Head along to Baby Lame’s unmissable night to see the incredible talents of Sam Reynolds, Sian Clarke, Cassandra & Trash Salad.

Rangeela | The RVT | 7 March | £12

A desi party hosted by Pink Lotus and Sarjana to celebrate Holi – the Festival of Colours – with epic performances from Mahatma Khandi, Bindiya, Kaajel, Deeva D and Manilla Rice.

Sprint Festival 2023 | Camden People’s Theatre | 7-27 March | £Various Prices

See the next generation of performance makers in the true home of experimental performance.

He Said She Said | Kiln Theatre | 7-11 March | From £10

Social media’s power to incite is under the microscope with dialogue, verse and drill.

Burgerz by Travis Alabanza | Queen Elizabeth Hall | 8-10 March | £18

Transphobia is put under the spotlight in this powerhouse performance.

TRASH OR TREASURE? – KANSAS CITY BOMBER x FIST CLUB | Genesis Cinema | 8 March | £3

A beautiful tribute to Raquel Welch, who plays roller-derby skater K. C. Carr, trying to balance her personal life with dreams of stardom.

Women: Witches and Wenches | Museum of London Docklands | 8 March | £12

In 1542, the first Witchcraft Act made being a witch a capital offence – and this night explores accused women, marginalised ‘magic’ and subsequent experiences of public punishment in the capital through history.

David Hoyle – Coronation Straße | The RVT | 9 March | £12

Who knows what the show will be about – but what we do know is David Hoyle is outstanding, outrageous and outré.

WOW – Women of the World | Southbank Centre | 10-12 March

The world’s biggest festival of and for women and non-binary people returns to the Southbank Centre.

Spring Thing by @ldnqueermart | Aaja, Deptford | 11-12 March | £1

A perfectly curated platform for queer artists, and queer-owned small businesses.

Nitwit at Hanging Rock | VAULT Festival | 11 & 12 March | £8

A hilarious-sounding parody of the much-feted Australian melodrama.

Little Nan’s Deptford Carless Carboot Sale | Deptford | 12 March

Deptford’s market centre is extended to Sunday with this kitsch cheap shopping extravaganza.

Vermin | Arcola Theatre | From 14 March | From £15

Dark comedy where rats aren’t the only thing to worry about!

RiffRaff Kabarett | The RVT | 14 March | From £12.50

Weimar cabaret with a stellar line-up of live music, burlesque, drag, games, DJs and dancing!

CON-VERSION | VAULT Festival | 14 March | From £13

Queer writer Rory Thomas-Howes explores being your true self post-gay conversion therapy.

Acid’s Reign | VAULT Festival | 14-19 March | From £13

Acid’s Reign is a sustainable drag-cabaret featuring drag sensation Son of a Tutu.

Kim Noble: Lullaby for Scavengers | Soho Theatre | From 15 March | From £17

Performance at its most controversial is Kim Noble’s forte, and this is the big finale to his trilogy themed around loneliness and connection.

Ciné Real: The Red Shoes & M | Castle Cinema | 16, 23 & 26 March | £11

Fantastic cult movies are here at Hackney’s swoon-worthy indie cinema.

Thin Air | The Beams | From 17 March | From £20

Groundbreaking tech-art exhibition which promises plenty of Insta-ready eyegasms.

Xnthony’s St Patrick’s Day X-Travaganza: The Culchie Cabaret☘️ | The Glory | 17 March | £15

The world’s biggest festival of and for women and non-binary people returns to the Southbank Centre.

The Phase | VAULT Festival | 7-12 March | £13

Get your teenage kicks with this pop-punk musical with a huge TikTok hype.

OTO Jumble | Cafe OTO | 19 March

London’s most esoteric venue opens its doors for a market unlike any other.

Dangerous Games | Secret Venue | 20-25 March | From £20

Teatro Vivo present their new immersive theatre show, Dangerous Games, with punk band bursting onto the streets.

Animal Architecture: Beasts, Buildings and Us | Bartlett School of Architecture | 23 March | FREE

A book launch and conversation with Paul Dobraszczyk, about the spaces we inhabit and how we can design with animals in mind.

Pink – Beautiful Trauma | The Broadway, Barking | 24 March | £23.50

A fun Pink tribute in Barking’s legendary local theatre.

Duckie with Glitterbomb Dancers, Audrey Heartburn, Shell Suit Cher + Moa Johansson | Eagle London | 25 March | £10

Another cavalcade of cabaret explodes onto the stage at The Eagle.

Paris! From Piaf to Pop | Wilton’s Music Hall | From 28 March | From £12.50

We love Christine Bovill, especially in the atmospheric setting of Wilton’s Music Hall – her Piaf is a thing of absolute beauty.

Sugar Coat | Southwark Playhouse | From 29 March | From £16

Don’t miss this feminist pop-punk live music play.

Milk | Wellcome Collection | From 30 March | FREE

Wellcome Collection have found 100 items about milk and its place in global politics, society and culture. Happing supping!

Barely Visible | Omnibus Theatre | 31 March | £13

Solo acrobatics, pole and dance tell the story of a gay and often ‘barely visible’ woman.

WeGotTickets Musical Comedy Awards Final 2023 with Rachel Parris | Bloomsbury Theatre | 31 March | From £10

London’s funniest night out is back, to crown the next Musical Comedy Awards winners.

Did we forget something? We almost certainly did – please let us know in the comments below!