Unmissable Things to Do In London in December 2019

Ding Dong Merrily on High! Our list of unusual Things To Do in London for December takes an unapologetically festive turn – but for the Scrooge’s in our midst, there’s plenty of tinsel-free fun to be had too!

🎄🎄🎄 Step Into Christmas! 🎄🎄🎄

Cabaret & Variety

OPIA Lates: XMXS Party | Brew By Numbers | 14 December | 6:30pm | From £8

An immersive night of storytelling through music, poetry, visual art, comedy and theatre from fresh talent in the capital.

Drag Syndrome at Christmas | Queen Elizabeth Hall | 15 December | 6pm | FREE

2019’s best drag troupe invite special guests including Justin Bond (Shortbus) to their free festive soiree.

The Legends & Legacies Yuletide Special | Queen Elizabeth Hall | 21 December | 4:30pm | FREE

Xnthony presents a high-heeled, glitter-strewn festive extravaganza of talent from older people.

Comedy

Sh!t Actually | Camden People’s Theatre | 3-21 December| 7:15pm | £15

Seminal Richard Curtis smushfest Love Actually is the source material for the wunderkinds at Sh!t Theatre to do their shittiest with.

Weirdos Save Christmas . . . And the local highstreet pub | Bloomsbury Theatre | 9 & 10 December| 8pm | £20

The weirdos are a grassroots comedy collective unlike any other. Miss this Xmas oddity at your peril.

Video Roulette – Xmas Birthday Edition | Ace Hotel London Shoreditch | 13 December| 7pm | FREE

Bonkers VHS crate digging cult bonanza.

Christmas LOLS | Queen Elizabeth Hall | 20 December| 9:45pm | FREE

The LOL word – an LGBTQIA+ women and non-binary comedy collective – present a free festive showcase at Southbank Centre.

Film & TV

Black Christmas (1974) | Prince Charles Cinema | 9 December | 9pm | £10

A bloody massacre of a Christmas eve. Forget the remake(s), this is the original and best festive gore fest.

Better Watch Out | Herne Hill Station Square | 12 December| 8pm | FREE

Better Watch Out replaces the Home Alone fantasy with horrific ‘someone’s out there’ scares. Fun stuff!

Panto & Theatre

Joan of Leeds | New Diorama Theatre | 3-21 December| 7:30pm | £16

Pioneering performance ensemble BREACH premiere their obscene medieval mystery play at the New Diorama.

Christmas Carol – A Fairytale | Wilton’s | All Month | 7:30pm | From £12.50

We’re in love with the premise of this refresh (with a gender-swapped central role: “Scrooge. As you’ve never seen her before…”), so Christmas Carol looks to be the ultimate festive treat – and if you haven’t already, you really need to discover the wonders of Wilton’s Music Hall!

Bonus Ball

Winterfest 2019 | Wembley Park | All Month| FREE

Pretty light installations in the fast-growing cultural quarter of Wembley.

😡😡😡😡 Stop The Cavalry 😡😡😡😡

^{(Some Xmas Elements May Be Unavoidable…)}

Cabaret & Variety

Werk: An End of Year Showcase | Roundhouse | 5 December| 7:30pm | £10

Xnthony/The Glory’s werk in progress night gets a one-off special at the gorgeous Roundhouse in Camden.

The Cocoa Butter Club Demolition Party | Ovalhouse | 12 December| 8pm | £16

London’s most lavish and spectacular queer party comes to celebrate the demolition of one of London’s most outrageous and loved venues, Ovalhouse. (Don’t worry, it’s moving to Brixton)

Comedy

Lucy Hopkins: The Unknown | The Bill Murray | 15 December| 4:15pm | Pay What You Want

Winner of To Do List’s Unsung Hero award, Lucy Hopkins is a comic talent unlike anything you’ve seen before. Discover her new show and pay what you want.

Circus & Dance

The Travelling Circus | Mercato Metropolitano | 7, 21, 22, 28 December| Times Vary | From £10.30

Circus Raj have come all the way from Jaipur in Rajasthan to present a special pop-up show featuring sword-swallowing, traditional songs and high-wire stunts.

Queer Tango on the Thames Winter Special | Royal Festival Hall | 26 December | 2pm | FREE

A celebration of same-sex tango – perfect Boxing Day fare!

Exhibitions & Art

FLOP: 13 Stories of Failure | UCL | All Month | 9am – 5pm | FREE

UCL celebrate the flop with 13 stories of failure, including a sword swallower’s oesophagus fatally punctured in an occupational accident (and the sword itself).

Film & TV

The Street | The Castle Cinema | From 6 December| Times Vary | From £5

A timely portrait of Hoxton’s gentrification and the people making their lives in east London.

Music

Rough Trade Recommends: Yeule + Charlotte Spiral + Blue Bendy | Rough Trade East | 4 December| 7:30pm | £6

A 5-star line up of new bands curated by Rough Trade, including the dreampop magic of Yeule.

No Bra: Love & Power Album Launch | ICA | 5 December| 8:30pm | £12

No Bra defies categorisation – and it’s nice to see some live music back at the ICA.

Tracks On Tap | Streatham Space | 5 December| 8pm | £5

A space for up-and-coming artists and supporters help each other in order to grow.

AGAMA | Rough Trade East | 10 December| 7pm | FREE

Celebrate Cassandra Gurling’s earthy voice, and her new multi-instrumental project Agama, with this gig at Rough Trade.

Freek – Live in London | Rich Mix | 21 December| 8pm | £10

Freek is a Somalian MC, rapper, director and record producer from Abu Dhabi – and this is your rare chance to see him at RichMix.

Theatre & Musicals

Ubu! a Singalong Satire | Shoreditch Town Hall | 4-21 December | 7:30pm | £25

Kneehigh’s new take on the anarchic UBU is sure to delight. We’ll be reviewing it very soon!

Bonus Balls

Talking Together | Rich Mix | 11 December| 7:45pm | FREE

A night of story-fueled fun discussing mixed-status relationships.

Forest Uprising | Leyton Sports Ground | 13-15 December| 5-10pm | FREE

The epic end to a wonderful year of Waltham Forest being Borough of Culture. Light’s aplenty, so go fill your Insta feed!

Burning the Clocks | Brighton | 21 December| 6:30pm | FREE

A pagan-style festival to lift your spirits on the darkest day.

Did we miss any offbeat things to do in London? Leave a comment below…