EastEnd Cabaret’s (Probably Gin-Fuelled) To Do List

We asked those naughty little scamps, EastEnd Cabaret, a bunch of questions. They answered. And then we shared with you. That’s the way we work, comrades…

Read on to find out where Bernadette Byrne and Victor Victoria buy their bagels, drink their gin, and go all vigilante on annoying tube passengers. Oh, and you might just find out where to catch their latest dangerwank. If you don’t know what that is, you’ll really just have to trust us. Oh, and go see them, obv! Find out more about EastEnd Cabaret on their website here, including details of all their gigs.

Tell us about your favourite secret/offbeat places in London?

BB: The 24 hour bagel shop on Brick Lane has been very good to us. The secret however, is knowing which one to choose, as there are two right next to each other. Beigel Bake (with the white sign) is the superior of the two with cheaper but also tastier bagels. The amount of salt beef they manage to fit into their bagels is beyond belief, just be careful when taking a bite or you will end up with salt beef all over you.

VV: This actually happens to Bernadette, quite regularly. She can be quite excitable when she is hungry. Another of my new favourite places is a delightful little café called Andor Bureau, at the very beginning of Mare Street. Excellent coffee, tasty homemade baked goods and a clientele made up of attractive and quiet East London artsy types. Their fervent journal-scribbling is actually quite soothing.

What offbeat events are on your To Do List in the next month or so?

VV: I am planning on attending a lecture at The Last Tuesday Society shop, conveniently located a few doors away from Andor Bureau at 11 Mare Street. The shop in itself is a wunderkammer of interesting artifacts and objects, exotic, erotic, natural or otherwise – I am saving my pennies for an amazing flamingo skeleton I found on my last visit. And when not improving my knowledge of dead animals, I will be spending a lot of time in the exciting new pop-up venue, Marylebone Gardens, which is housed in the ex-BBC building on Marylebone High Street. Reviving the site of one of London’s historical Pleasure Gardens, it is a new home for all things (in their own words) “gin-soaked, delightful and a little bit naughty.” A veritable feast of cabaret, comedy and other performance has been programmed over the summer – including our Edinburgh Fringe previews at the end of July!

What are your favourite things to do for free or little money in London?

BB: When Victy is out replenishing our gin supply, I like to get on the number 25 bus. Though it used to be a bendy bus and thus, free it now costs a mere £1.40. It is the best entertainment in London, and it runs 24 hours a day. The people you see on the bus, going about their business are just so entertaining, and it covers all genres. There is family friendly day time entertainment – the age old question of ‘Do I help this lady with her pram, or do I subtly hit her with my shopping bags in a silent rage that she is forcing me to move’, and then there is the more adult entertainment of the night bus – drunken youths falling asleep standing up, people falling down the stairs and the couple secretly getting it on in the back seat. Take a hip flask of gin and some snacks, and it is one of the best shows in London.

VV: Something (a little less voyeuristic) that I like to do is go to the Hobgoblin Music Shop on Rathbone Place in town, and try out as many musical instruments as possible. There are some wonderful-sounding things to pluck, hit and play with – accordions, zithers, harmoniums, autoharps, and all sorts of percussion – and they have new and interesting second-hand instruments in all the time. Plus, once you’ve amused yourself for a little while (and with the money you’ve saved by not going to the cinema or the museum or whatever you were going to do), there’s no harm in sipping a gin or two in Bourne and Hollingsworth, the lovely little speakeasy just around the corner.

What’s your ultimate London confession?

BB: I am one of those people that gets tube rage. When Victy takes me on the tube, she always has to make sure that I have had some gin. When people push in through the doors, charging you with their giant luggage, I do push back, and I will purposefully trip you and hit you with the accordion if you do not ask me to move politely.

VV: Seriously. It’s like travelling with an angry ten-pin bowler, hell-bent on knocking over every last pin. Especially those wearing business suits and wheeling silly little business suitcases.

What event or product of your own would you like to pimp on To Do List?

BB: Victy and I are doing one more shows at the Priceless London Wonderground on the Southbank – a beautiful 1920’s Spiegeltent run by the Underbelly – 26th of July at 9pm. There will be gin, there will be beautiful people, and there will be the occasional dangerwank. Come and play darlings!

Stuart Wilson

I am Joint Editor at To Do List. I like: nice pubs, film marathons, not doing real marathons, bad comedy, plays/musicals with shorter second halves, and the Oxford comma.

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