December To Do List – London Christmas Joy Guaranteed.

Our pick of the month is Brian Lobel’s Cruising for Art, a suspiciously non-Xmas event. If you’re feeling festive try BAC, BGWMC, Duckie’s Copyright Christmas, Drink Shop & Do and much more…read on Scrooge, read on…

Christmas Cook Up Season @ Battersea Arts Centre | 1st-31stDecember | Various Times | £Various

 BAC presents a delightful festive festival packed with emerging theatre developed on site, including theatre, music, words, food & drink. Our pick of the pops includes: “Bluebeard” – a dark cabaret fairytale about a nobleman in the habit of murdering his wives; and renegade theatre troupe Little Bulb’s “The Mother of All Goose Parties” – a musical journey/party.

Christmas Open Studios @ Cockpit Arts | 2nd-4th December | Free

  Don’t Argos it! Buy something truly unique from Cockpit Arts’ supremely talented bunch of crafty creatives. Choose from fashion accessories, homewares and much more as you enjoy some lovely food courtesy of Handmade Food, or enter the prize draw to win handmade Christmas decorations made by CA’s talented designers. 
Bethnal Green Working Mens Club Xmas Season @ BGWMC | 3rd-17th December | Various Times | £Various
 Come to the venue where it’s so camp, it’s Christmas all year round! Highlights of their awesome Christmas parties include: Coney Island Christmas Party (inspired by the kookiest car-crash beach resort that is Coney Island N.Y.) on the 3rd December; Dirty Fan Male (based on real letters sent to porn stars) on the 14th December; and the Cream Revue Christmas Party.

Canadian Blast vs Oui Love @ Rich Mix | 5th December | 19:30 | Free

Oui fell in love with ‘Oui Love’ at the Institut Francais, where we bopped insanely to their latest compilation of French future mega-hits. We can’t wait to hear Zooey at RichMix.

Amateur TransplantsLyric Theatre | 5th December | 20:00 | £22.50

Ok we admit it, we are totally obsessed with musical comedy – we write about it more than anything else on the site. See some cream-of-the-crop musical comedy at the luscious Lyric Theatre, full of witty puns and laugh out loud mayhem from YouTube stars, Amateur Transplants.

Robyn Hood @ The RVT | 7th & 28th-30th December | Various Times | £8.50

We went to the RVT Panto last year and saw stripping, beautiful rhyming song with Marcus Reeves and trannies. This year we expect nothing less.

Brian Lobel’s Cruising for Art @ Vogue Fabrics | 9th December | 20:00-22:00 | £5

 Unbelievably brilliant and irreverently sleazy event where audience members have to cruise an audacious array of artists in order to gain access to intimate, one on one performances – all over 4 floors of the Vogue Fabrics mansion. The line up for this round includes Bryony Kimmings, Tui’s Nail Bar (Tui is an emerging artist – just 10 years old!), Eirini Kartsaki, Mamoru Iriguchi, Rachel Gomme, Catherine Long, The Famous Lauren Barri Holstein, Timberlina (as Tim Redfern), GraceLes and Owen Parry.

Duckie Copyright Christmas and Duckie Christmas Market @ The Barbican | 10th-30th December | Various Times | £19.99

We are very impressed to see that those fabulous Duckie people have infiltrated the usually-clean Barbican website with falling snow. Pretty! In their latest interactive charade, featuring Scottee & Harrold Offeh, the collective express their dissatisfaction with the commercialism of Christmas. We feel the same! Then, after you’ve got all ruffled by the performance, explore the Duckie Christmas Market for offbeat treats from independent sellers who love a chat.

The Joy of Sketch @ Lyric Theatre | 12th December | 19:30 | £17.50-£38.50

 Sketch comedy is a Loserville favourite genre, and we are happy that Time Out got its thinking cap on and put on this festive frollic with some of the best troupes around. Including Late Night Gimp Fight, Idiots of Ants, The Pajama Men and Two Episodes of Mash.

Bourgeois & Maurice: Fa La La La La @ Soho Theatre | 14th December – 7th January | 21:45 | £10-£15

Christmas cheer not quite grabbed you? Perfect! Come and join LV faves Bourgeois and Maurice for their festive (?) Christmas spectacular. Expect: hilarity, doom mongering and costume changes (we hope!).

The Xmas Starty @ Soho Theatre | 14th-23rd December | Various Times | £15

Soho Theatre says: “The most bizarre office Christmas party you will ever attend.” We say: “Bring it on babycakes!”. Dress up in your frump chic and enjoy the music, passion, laughs, games, dances, prizes and crafting.

Inappropriate Christmas Card Making @ Drink, Shop & Do | 21st December | 20:00ish | Free (well, you have to buy a drink…)

This cute cafe in Kings Cross presents great participatory events including knit-ins, musical bingo and inappropriate Xmas fun. Don’t miss this hidden gem…